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I’m not judging – I can see how easy it is to get into that situation.

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Page 1 of 2Everyone has been in this situation: You just started dating someone only to find out their birthday is right around the corner. Here you are, with a new relationship and just as you're getting to know the person, their birthday rolls up out of nowhere and leaves you wondering about the gift.

As if deciding what to wear on dates isn’t hard enough, now you’re stuck deciding what gift to buy – or even you should get them anything at all – for their birthday.

When I asked him if we were going out properly he just said he ‘wasn’t there yet, and wasn’t even sure if he wanted a serious relationship.’ “I don’t want to push it as I have a really nice time with him.

I don’t want to come across as some relationship-obsessed harpy and I’m sure once we’ve been seeing each other for long enough he’ll come round – we’re in a relationship in all but name anyway.” I slightly want to bang my head against the keyboard now, not least because I’ve said the same thing more than once in the past.

Plus, a gift can say a lot about your feelings – are they lukewarm or red hot?

The pressure to nail the proper gift that says how you feel without going overboard (or being underwhelming) is more stressful than obsessively checking your phone for a text, an email, or even (gasp) a call back.

Pick a restaurant that has a long wait list but you were slick enough to swing by early on and ask the owner for a little help.

That says, “It may be early, but I want to see this last longer.” As for the present, keep it simple – maybe a book they have talked about reading or a bottle of wine they have been dying to try.

"The last time he stared into someone eyes for long periods of time, he was in love," says sexpert Dr Pam Spurr (

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